Three Rules Following Divorce
Divorce will undoubtedly introduce many challenges for you. What are the most important considerations following your recent divorce? Following a few simple rules can potentially spare you increased difficulty in making such a drastic transition.
Never go it alone following your divorce. Some people, whether out of spite or stubbornness, believe they can stand entirely on their own when the divorce has been finalized. A willingness to project a false image of stability can generally sacrifice your mental health and career. Seeking professional help through an attorney and other experts to represent your personal interest is essential to making a smooth transition in your life.
Never allow your recent divorce to force any decisions. Some people, overwhelmed with their newfound freedom, might immediately rush into life decisions such as purchasing houses and cars. You’ll need time to decompress, both mentally and financially, whenever your divorce is processed. Avoid making hasty decisions that will further complicate your immediate future.
Never use your divorce to rationalize problematic behavior. If you find yourself losing sleep or appetite, don’t attribute the change solely to divorce. Some people attempt to justify their otherwise reckless abandon for personal health as a byproduct of their divorce. Never allow your divorce the ability to compromise your wellbeing.
Fathers Less Likely to Receive Child Custody
It’s hard to believe but many fathers will never experience an equal opportunity to gain child custody throughout legal proceedings. Modern statistics indicate that anywhere between 70 – 90 percent of divorces where child custody is a focus, the mother is awarded custody. Fathers have to settle with visitation rights for the most part.
Complicating matters even further is the issue of child support. Experts note that the majority of child support cases are purely based on estimation of necessary funding, nothing grounded in research or concrete fact. Many fathers will find they have a difficult time handling the added expense of their mandated child support.
Some believe that fathers have somehow earned the reputation of completely absent in the lives of their children following divorce. In reality, there are countless divorced fathers that are unfairly treated as a result of this stigma. Fathers can potentially be pigeon holed into such a position with a lack of visitation rights or staggering child support payments.
Fathers are an important addition in the lives of their children as they develop. While divorce can certainly complicate the arrangement, it shouldn’t deny either parent equal rights without just cause.
Helping Infants Cope Through Divorce
It’s common knowledge one of the most challenging aspects of divorce concerns the way it will ultimately affect your children. There’s perhaps never been much thought however to the way divorce settlements affect infants.
Infants are more perceptive than commonly believed. They have the ability to sense the way their parents react, picking up on anxiousness irritability. It’s important for young parents to anticipate the emotions of their infant and not take their perspective for granted.
Responsiveness is essential to good parenting in situations of divorce. Making your baby’s needs and desires accommodated for in every capacity is important. Make it a part of your daily routine. Additionally, make sure the child, regardless of age, understands the relationship between you and your former spouse will not become anything toxic.
Perhaps the most critical element in play is taking care of yourself. Never lower your standard for overall wellbeing, your child will absorb this and it can potentially damage their own view of themselves. One of the most challenging parts of being a parent is setting the right example even when making incredible adjustments throughout your personal life.
Putting your child first is always a good rule of thumb in divorce cases.
10 Year Marriages Survive More Often
The latest marriage statistics are indicating couples that can endure the first ten years are more likely to avoid divorce altogether. Prior to this point, many young marriages carry a 20% higher chance of ending in divorce.
This news is encouraging considering how common divorce has become in the last few decades, more people throwing in the towel every single year. Despite this increasing trend, the latest findings also indicate that divorce rates are coming down all across the board.
Those involved in the study attribute the ten year safety marker to a few different attributes. After a decade a marriage becomes a good deal more predictable, unforeseen complications and staggering financial burdens generally become nonexistent. Beyond this, many couples are financially stable – typically working jobs that allow them to comfortably pay a mortgage and provide for the entire family.
The risk for divorce is not entirely removed from the equation despite reaching the coveted ten year marker. Should you ever find yourself motioning for a divorce, rely on an experienced attorney to assist you with your legal needs. Experts note that many financial complications can occur when separation occurs, including a significant blow to your credit rating in many cases.
More Cases of Divorce Over Money Disagreements
Recent studies show couples who argue about money have a higher tendency to file for divorce. It may not come as a surprise to many, but couples with financial differences are at risk.
Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University decided to run a study to quantify just how much these couples were at risk to divorce. His findings maintain that couples who argue over finances once a week are 30 times more likely to file for divorce than couples that have minor disagreements each month.
Dew ran his study by interviewing nearly 3000 couples initially in 1987, asking them how often they squabbled over money. Later on, during 1992, Dew returned to these couples to find out how many were still married. The couples noted that the catalyst for divorce in many cases was money.
Relationship experts maintain that there are several conversations concerning money couples should have prior to getting married. Some of those discussions include who will be responsible for paying the bills each month, what their personal credit situation looks like and even how their financial ancestry – how their parents dealt with money – affects their outlook.
It’s clear that communication about financial issues acts as prevention to divorce in many cases.
Alimony Reform Hotly Debated in Florida Family Law
When couples divorce one of the major issues that must be resolved is whether one of the spouses must continue to support the other after the union has been dissolved. When court documents require that one spouse periodically or on one occasion transfer money to support their former wife or husband the process is known as alimony.
Legislators and attorneys in Florida are currently debating the future of Florida’s alimony laws. Alimony is primarily set in place by state laws. Florida’s current laws reflect the traditional family model and allow for an obligor, paying spouse, to pay alimony for the rest of his or her life. New legislation has been introduced that would eliminate the possibility of a divorced spouse to pay alimony for the rest of their lives.
The new law hopes to rid Florida of an out dated familial mentality. When the current law was instituted the husband in a marriage was traditionally the bread winner with the wife staying home to care for the children. It goes without saying that gender roles and marriages have changed in the 21st century. Most marriages these days have both members of the union working full or part time. Additionally more and more women are heading to the work place while Dad stays at home with the kids.
The new law hopes to address this as well as the fact that economic struggles have made the prospect of long-term stability within a career rockier. The proposed bill would restrict alimony availability through several noteworthy provisions. First, the law would eliminate the possibility of “permanent” alimony. Adultery would no longer be taken into consideration unless it negatively affected assets or income. For example, if an adulterer rents out an apartment for their lover. Additionally, alimony payments would end once the obligor reaches retirement age. Finally, marital standard of living would no longer be a factor the court must consider in an alimony decision.
Similar bill made it through the House in 2012 but died on the Senate floor.
Differences in Divorce Laws by State
Are you getting a divorce? You should know that the way your case is handled varies from one state to another. Although divorce is the same in principle, the complex process differentiates across the board.
Many states observe equitable distribution, meaning any property acquired throughout the marriage is doled out to the respective spouse that had the necessary income to purchase said property. When both spouses contribute equally to property, it’s generally considered a simple process to divide the assets in that case.
There are minority states that do not observe equitable distribution, including California. Instead, assets and finances are essentially split down the middle regardless of who paid for the property or brought in the most money. Some spouses are entitled to a large share of the estate despite only minor contributions.
The situation gets a bit more complicated concerning credit. It’s fairly standard in non-equitable distributing divorces for spouses to share debt, regardless of who acquired it. It’s a delicate situation that requires the assistance of an expert to fully understand. Other issues that differ from one state to another in divorce proceedings include child support laws.
Speak with a family law attorney to better navigate the maze.
5 Mistakes to Avoid During Divorce
Not everyone has been through multiple divorces; some people will only have just one, or even none, which means there is plenty of room for error. It can be a sticky situation when you are dealing with a former spouse, especially if children are involved, but here is a list of things to take into consideration when going through divorce.
- Don’t be unrealistic with your demands. If you want things to be fair, you have to play that way; if you’re looking to receive everything, you might be out of luck. Figure out what you need and what is most important to you first then decide how you can to move forward from there.
- Don’t hide anything from your attorney. Make sure you discuss your future plans and list of assets with your him or her. Withholding these things could be detrimental to your case, especially if your spouse has an idea about what you’re hiding. Make sure to trust your attorney, as they are there to serve you and help you. Make sure to ask a lot of questions, get a clear concise understanding of everything that’s going on if you do not understand.
- Be leery of your social networking. These days, sites like Facebook and Twitter have become almost a shoulder to cry on in times of struggle. One can post about very personal issues, and can be seen by hundreds of people. If you’re hiding assets or withholding information and posting about it online, it can be used against you in court.
- Use your head not your heart. Make sure to make decisions using your logical senses instead of giving in to your emotions. You are likely in a venerable state, so it is necessary to be smart during divorce proceedings.
- Don’t snoop through your exes mail or email. This is an invasion of privacy, and it is illegal, even if you were granted access by your spouse. If the court needs to, it can access their email and social media accounts, so try to stop yourself before potentially getting in hot water.
Florida Women can Regain Maiden Name for Free
Florida women currently going through divorce proceedings have the option to regain their maiden name for free while their case file is still open. However, often times women overwhelmed by the myriad of decisions that come with the end of marriage will simply put their name change on the back burner.
The result of putting off this important final step is a $400 bill. This is because Florida law, where the filing fee is determined, does not differentiate between a name being restored after a divorce and a completely new name. If a woman wants to restore her maiden name without paying the $400 they can also petition the court to reopen their divorce cases-which costs $50. However, it is up to a judge to decide whether to recognize the petition or not.
The decision to restore your maiden name is a big one and Orlando attorney Mayanne Downs advises that divorce proceedings are the most efficient time to do this but if clients aren’t ready to make that decision they shouldn’t have to.
Many women don’t change their name during a divorce because they want to have the same last name as their children. Alternatively, some women have built a career or business using their married name and changing back to their maiden name might be a hindrance professionally.
Divorced women have the right to restore their maiden names and ex-spouses can’t force them to change their name – or to keep their married name.
Downs said the hassle and expense to restore a maiden name months or years after a divorce pale in comparison to making a decision under distress that you later regret.
Divorce Statistics Vary in Age
Every 13 seconds in the United States a divorce occurs. It comes as no surprise that nearly 50% of the domestic married population files for divorce, but that value is reciprocated in many other countries of the world. Objectively speaking, there is perhaps no greater factor leading to divorce than age.
The numbers are telling. Women under the age of 20 file for divorce at a rate of 27.6%. That number increases when examining the bracket of women age 20 – 24, jumping all the way to 36.6%. Although the percentile falls within the age 25 – 29 bracket, the immediate jump is attributed to the average marriage lasting no longer than eight years.
Divorce rates vary with men. Men under the age of 20 file for divorce at a rate of 11.7%, significantly less than women. Although this rate is lower, men have the highest spike in divorce rates – men age 20 – 24 experience a rate of divorce at a staggering 38.8%. Again, this number falls dramatically between the age of 25 – 29.
If you’re moving toward divorce, speak with an experienced attorney that doesn’t treat you like just another statistic. Receive the counsel you need to move forward with your life.